Everytime i see her cry, I cant help but run out her room before she see's me cry too. I hate seeinq her like this. From healthy to sick, from strong to weak , from my mother to a stranger. She was always so out going. She would get on her car and drive to where eva she pleased. Now she can barely make it around the house. This disease is killinq her slowly but is destroyinq me slower. Everytime i see her sufferinq i suffer with her. Im nothinq without this lady. Shes all i have. I cant picture myself livinq in this cruel world w/o my protector living in it with me. Shes all i know. Shes all i eva botherd to kno. I regrete everytime i made her cry, i regrete everytime i thought i knew better den her. I hate that i've shown her my bitch side once to many times. I wish i can go back but i cant take bak what i've done. Now she has this horrible disease in her and i still cant do nothinq about it. All i can do is watch it eat her up inside. Watch it wash away her good memories and fill up her brain with sorrow and emptyness. I wish i can do more but i cant. I dont know what will happen when da day comes and i cant kiss my mother good morninq wen i wake up,or goodnight b4 i go to sleep. I honestly think that ima go insane. I wont be able to function, i wont know what to do next. Sometimes wen i see her now i go numb. I try & brinq up fuuny thinqs cuz i know dat all she does all day in dat bed is just wait for her time to come. Shes on her bed all the time. God only knows what shes thining & what shes feelinq. I love her to death..so when her time comes i might as well go wit her. I cant live w/o her, i refuse to.
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